Shepard's Epic Shuffle
by fishbone76
Summary: Traynor/Fesmhep ficlet including Joker the master of discretion, Jack and her nasty mouth, Ashley"Investigating" Willimas and Liara "Shadowbroker" T'soni :D Samantha Traynor get's caught in an unpleasent situation of question- and- answer game. Will she be able to wiggle herself out of it?


Disclaimer: Mass Effect and it's characters belong to EA/BioWare

Traynor/Femshep ficlet

huge thanks goes to GracefulDemon for beta-reading, support and help in general *hug*

**Shepard's Epic Shuffle**

Normandy SR2, CIC

Samantha Traynor tried hard to explain to Jack how she had encrypted the fake Turian signal from Cerberus, but since the woman lacked professional knowledge about hacking communication it took some effort - actually more than just _some_. It was like explaining colour to a daltonic. Still Jack insisted and Sam didn't dare to say no to the short-tempered woman.

_I probably shouldn't say "I don't have time for this right now because I have to update the Galaxy map, which I actually should have done the evening before, but I was too occupied shagging the Commander."_

The truth she couldn't say. A simple "No." She didn't dare to say it, fearing a biotic blast could throw her at the elevator doors - and that made her pretty nervous.

Even Liara's presence, who tried to help explaining didn't help calming her nerves.

Joker interrupted the encryption lesson via the comm channel. His excited voice blurred out of Traynor's console. "Traynor, didn't you mention you'd give your last undies to see Shepard's 'epic shuffle' with your own eyes?"

A few heads in the CIC turned around towards the Specialist which made her feel a bit sheepish.

She turned down the volume immediately. Her eyes darted quickly over the people now looking at her. She wasn't fond of drawing attention; especially if people thought she's completely fangirling and swooning over her commanding officer, which was abso-bloody-lutely what they were thinking - and bugger they were right. When she entered the CIC this morning she was sure that the senior crew was looking at her differently. They even began to whisper behind her back. _Could they already know?!_

Sam tried to get rid of Joker. "Yes but…"

Joker interrupted. "Now is your chance. Open security cam 2 of the Shuttle Bay." His voice became louder and more excited. "Vega and Shepard are getting it on."

More heads turned to Traynor. _This isn't really happening._ She didn't dare to look up this time and turned down the volume again. She could see - she could imagine - their questioning and disregarding faces without looking up. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lieutenant-Commander Williams looking around puzzled before walking towards her.

_Could this day get any worse? Great, Joker. Ever bloody heard of discretion? A text message would have worked wonders._

Samantha felt an elbow lightly hitting her ribs. She looked at the owner, Jack who nodded at her console "Traynerd! Turn it on already."

_What the...? Did she...? Doesn't sound so bad at all. Traynerd. Trayneerrrd. Hehehe. _She was thinking too much again. How long had she been standing there preoccupied in thoughts? _Obviously too long for Jack._ Those nervous inner conversations were actually getting her into more trouble than when she opened her mouth to speak. Forgetting everything and everyone around her. She just couldn't control her rambling thoughts when she was in the presence of so many people. It had always made her nervous.

Williams looked down on her severely, invading Sam's personal space. Sam swallowed dryly and stepped back uncomfortably, feeling as her palms became sweaty; still, to her surprise, she held Williams' gaze.

Finally the Lieutenant-Commander moved her eyes away turning her attention to the console and pushed a button.

The vid-screen opened.

Loud music boomed out of the speakers and now half of the CIC personnel was looking in her direction. Although only for a short time before turning back to their actual work. Oh, how she missed working in a quiet Lab with only a few people. The CIC was definitely not her favourite workplace.

The laughter and snickering from the three women next to Sam dragged her out of her thoughts as her eyes locked with the screen.

"What in god's name is she doing?" Williams guffawed.

What Samantha saw made her cringe. Well not everything. Vega was rocking his shirtless body in perfect unison with the music. Next to him was Commander Shepard in her full armour presenting her _epic shuffle_ that Sam had just heard of lately.

Squadmates and friends of the Commander had - as of late - made no secret about her lack of dancing skills. Sam refused to believe that unless she saw it with her own eyes. After all, Shepard was a heroine, a perfect fighting machine that moved so fast and elegantly on the battlefield, a living legend! Sure they were pushing it a bit. _They bloody weren't._

Liara's voice pulled her out of her staring state. She sniggered. "Goodness it looks even more awkward when she does it in her armour."

Jack pressed forward activating the comm channel to the shuttlebay. "Fuck Shepard. Stop that shit! My eyes are bleeding already."

For a few seconds Shepard stopped her movement, looking up at the camera and began moving her hips in an obscene way while she flipped off Jack with both hands. "Bleed to death Bitch." Shepard's voice crackled through the console speaker. Then she continued dancing.

Jack just laughed.

Liara crossed her arms, her eyes glued on the screen "I haven't seen her in such good spirits since... a long time."

"Yeah. You're right." Jack commented and then looked at Sam. "Is that your doing, Traynerd?"

So she'd heard right before. _Traynerd. Giggle._ Her sheepish smile vanished as quickly as it showed, giving way to a shocked stare. "What?"

"Your doing, Traynor?" Liara repeated the question now.

Sam's eyes darted back and forth between Jack, Liara, Williams and the screen that showed Shepard still dancing. _Good Lord, woman. Stop that. This is very disturbing. _"Uh, I don't... What are you talking about?" Sam asked and tried hard - so hard - to sound as innocent as possible. While speaking she kept her eyes on the screen; lying and looking someone in the eyes wasn't something she was capable of. _Bollocks that image is now burnt into my brain forever. _Sam sighed heavy. "Maybe she's just happy that she kicked some Cerberus arse and rescued a friend." She hoped they believed that blatant lie.

Now Williams took the word. "Where have you been the second half of your shift yesterday?"

_This is not happening._

"Now that you mention it, I haven't seen either of them the whole evening." Liara remarked.

_Is not happening. Not happeniiiing._

"Actually haven't seen them after they came back from the Citadel shortly behind each other." Jack ambiguously commented back.

_How am I supposed to get out of this? Think Sammy. Stay calm, keep cool. Think of something._

"Observant eyes said Shepard got straight up to her cabin, like she was in a hurry." Liara again remarked this time with a hint of provocative undertone.

_Think. You have a brain, use it. You're smart. Make use of it._

"Yes. And the comm Specialist followed short afterwards."

"No, no! **No! **You got it wrong." Sam tried to explain but her voice was telling.

"Yeah, sure." Jack made a V with her fingers, putting them in front of her lips and started flicking her tongue.

Samantha wanted to flee, storm out of the CIC, she was mad with Shepard who hadn't any clue what she was going through right now. Instead she kept moving her hips in a bloody awful way. The same bloody marvellous hips that moved so elegantly and sexy last night. _STAHP IT! Get a grip._

Samantha gave it one last try. If it's not possible, then it's not possible. She wouldn't care about the crew gossiping that she and the Commander became a pair just yesterday. "I met her at the citadel. She asked me to repair a console in her cabin."

Sam looked at the three women in front of her. All of them had a serious expression. No silly grinning, no arching eyebrow. Did she manage it? That was too easy.

Jack stepped one foot closer to Sam and said in a calm low voice. "I know Cerberus rebuild Shepard but installing a console between her legs? That's weird! Even for Cerberus."

Liara and Williams burst in full laughter. Sam was happy the CIC wasn't well-lit, she was sure she had never blushed so deeply in her life. She ducked her head, looking at her console. At least the nightmare was finally over. Shepard had stopped dancing.


End file.
